Month: March 2018
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Magic is a time and not a place
Devils Elbow, Missouri, was magic in the summer of 1980. At least for me. I assumed it would stay magical forever. On that, I was mistaken. In February 1980, I was still an Army journalist at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri,, doing a daily radio show that I’d physically deliver to two local radio stations, nearly…
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Unusual Bait, Unusual Fish: Non-Profit Jobs I Didn’t Know Existed
The results are starting to come in from my column the other day, my open letter to the universe about what job I should seek when it’s time to move on from here. With my bumbling short-term focus, I somehow failed to recognize this would lead to unorthodox job suggestions. It turns out a number…
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Older than Kitty Carlisle, But the Same Age as the Barefoot Madonna
Crushes came easily to me as a boy. Unfortunately for me, I was exclusively a generator and never the recipient. To be fair to all the girls I knew, I was always the shortest boy in class, but made up for it by being loud, disruptive and, although I was occasionally amusing, offensive, having been…
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An Unorthodox Man’s Unorthodox Job Search
As you look over this open letter to the universe, remember you’re part of the ever-evolving and sometimes-improving Tupperware bowl of existence we call the universe. If you know of a job that fits this request, you’ll be helping yourself by helping the universe help me. Also, I’ll write you a sonnet or bake you…
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In Praise of Beverly Cleary
I was not an evil child, but I was wicked, a distinction that matters. Evil identifies the good and sets out to destroy it. Wicked people raise the bet without knowing what’s at stake. Evil requires focus and determination, while wickedness results from boredom and distraction. Evil descends and leaves no survivors, while wickedness…
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America is NOT The Wasteland, Although I Can Be a Hollow Man
Those who have crossed With direct eyes, to death’s other Kingdom Remember us—if at all—not as lost Violent souls, but only As the hollow men The stuffed men. “The Hollow Men” by T.S. Eliot Donald Trump has done a lot of dumb things, a lot of crass things, a lot of cruel things and a…
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Wisdom from the Catacombs
Church sanctuaries held wisdom for me as a boy. It may have been wisdom I didn’t understand, and certainly couldn’t apply to my life, but when I went into the sanctuary of the Durham Community Church, I assumed the Reverend Novotny had a pathway to God and therefore some genuine wisdom. As I grew…
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The Persistence of False Memory
I just finished having lunch with my childhood best friend, Jonas. The meal was great, and the conversation was even better. We discussed end-of-life issues, politics and beards. On this last, I have great envy of Jonas, who grew his first facial hair in, I think, fifth grade, and definitely had a fuller beard when…
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A Free-Association Scream (900 or so Words of Id-Driven Rage at Addiction Poured onto the Page without Editing or Re-Reading)
Larissa’s had another red-letter day/week/month with the same red-letteredness I brought on myself near the end of my drinking. Moving from mid- to end-stage alcoholism is distinguished by increasingly common losses (or throw-aways) and satisfaction with less and less and less in life. The border between the stages may come with the recognition that buying…
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One-Hit Wonders and An Unguided Tour of One Mind Snapping
The artwork is the cover of The Knack’s Greatest Hits, which I imagine is 12 remixes of “My Sharona” and the Single Version of “Good Girls Don’t.” I’ve always loved one-hit wonders, from Wheatus (“Teenage Dirtbag”) to Thunderclap Newman (“Something in the Air”) to Johan Pachelbel (“Canon in D”) to Carl Douglas (“Kung-Fu Fighting”) to…
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And for My Next Trick, I’ll be Impersonating a Book
Next Wednesday, March 21, is the First Day of Spring, which I suspect will mean more to most of the United States than it does to residents of Pittsburg, NH, where winter reigns until Mother’s Day. Likewise, next Wednesday, March 21, is also the 12th Anniversary of the founding of Twitter, says @novelistador. And next…
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Pssstttt—Secrets of Secret Clubs (for a price)
Secret clubs generate . . . secrets. I had an uncle who lived in San Francisco and belonged to a well-publicized secret club—add that to your oxymoronic list—Bohemian Grove. If you Google Bohemian Grove, you’ll discover its links to the Trilateral Commission, the Illuminati, the Knights Templar and various other conspiracy-producing bogeymen. Members reportedly engage…
Tiny White Box--Thoughts on Life, Death, Recovery, and Other Mundane Topics 