Cranky Wheels Get Oily

Ever since it went online 12 years ago, I’ve loved Google translate, and have wasted dozens of hours playing with it. Don’t ask me why, but the ability to translate from, say, English to Hebrew to Arabic to Igbo and back to English almost always makes me laugh out loud. Given many folks’ focus on the potential dangers of internet pornography, as a public service I present a few samples below.

Using the above language chain, here are 15 common English proverbs in their trans-translations. See if you can figure them out.

  • Those unread in history will be deprived of repetition
  • People living in non-smoking rooms should
  • Time is money
  • It’s time
  • The road to hell opens the way for good reasons.
  • Give employers a robbery
  • Many chefs take a lot
  • Two companies, but three people
  • Two errors are wrong
  • Cranky wheels get oily
  • There is no place in the house
  • Guide to food dessert.
  • Diversity is the taste of life
  • Tiger does not change scars.
  • Beauty is your reward

And here are the originals:

  • Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it
  • Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones
  • Time is money
  • Time will tell
  • The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
  • To the victor go the spoils
  • Too many cooks spoil the broth
  • Two is company, but three’s a crowd
  • Two wrongs don’t make a right
  • The squeaky wheel gets the grease
  • There’s no place like home
  • The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
  • Variety is the spice of life
  • The leopard does not change its spots.
  • Virtue is its own reward

I then took 15 unfamiliar proverbs from various cultures and did the same thing.

  • You will never get a cat that gives a home.
  • Never get rid of anything you eat.
  • What is quite encouraging how to tell the liver what smells beer?
  • It concerns how much the world changes, the guts never put divide.
  • Those who understand a resourcefulness understand how far the city is.
  • When the mice lie to the cat, there is a hole in the area.
  • Boil the water and the foam will rise to survival.
  • The boy of a mess is a mess.
  • You do not want to take our board, let us despise those who escape.
  • The hand is cut, the whole body will send pain.
  • What a sin to others is a kind of the same advertiser.
  • There is no point to offer a handshake to someone who wants to drink.
  • The wolf looks for what he left behind, and then the boat is busy for them.
  • No one keeps a record on the river, which will never be a crocodile.
  • If you are looking for a landfill land, you will find yourself in the cannabis country

Here are the originals.

  • You will never find a cat on a cold hearth.
  • Never defecate more than what you eat.
  • Who is brave enough to tell the lion that his breath smells?
  • No matter how much the world changes, cats will never lay eggs.
  • The one being carried does not realize how far away the town is.
  • When the mice laugh at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
  • Boil the water and the scum will rise to the top.
  • The child of a rat is a rat.
  • We hate those who will not take our advice and despise those who do.
  • Whichever hand is cut, the whole body feels the pain.
  • That which is a sin in others is a virtue in ourselves.
  • There is no point in offering a helping hand to someone who wants to drown.
  • The wolf is upset about what he left behind, and the shepherd is upset about what he took away.
  • No matter how long a log floats on the river, it will never be a crocodile.
  • When you are looking for a country with no tombstones you will find yourself in the land of cannibals.

If you didn’t find this amusing, go back to “Two Girls, One Cup,” but please pray those two girls used mouthwash afterward, and use bleach in your eyes to forget what you’ve seen.

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